I can't begin to estimate the number of people that passed my table. Hundreds for sure, maybe thousands. Some people made eye contact, most did not. I didn't take it personally - there are many people in direct sales that have created a negative stigma around businesses like mine. Not gonna lie- I usually avoid them at all costs.
It did bother me a little though. This lack of Human connection; this lack of community. We are so busy getting to our next item of business in our 'life improvement plan' that we don't acknowledge the people around us.
Well, I decided I was going to say 'Hi' to as many people as I could, whether they were making eye contact or not. Not because I had an agenda. Not to make a point. Not to increase sales. Not for any objective other than.....to let them know they are noticed..... they matter.... and I really do want them to have a good day. That's it.
I couldn't help but think of the scripture that has come to mean so much to me over the past year: Acts 3: 1-11 The crippled beggar sat in the same place every day; at the gate of the temple; a gate that is called Beautiful. Every day this crippled beggar asked for charitable gifts.
On this day, John and Peter, noticed him. They looked at him. When they called to this crippled beggar, he wasn't even looking at them. Interesting. Right?!?! This beggar is asking for money and not even looking at the people he's asking.
Was he so used to being passed by that he stopped expecting charitable gifts? Was he so used to being ignored that he couldn't look at the faces of the passers by? Was he so humiliated by his life-long ailment and dependency on others to carry him to his begging place that he wouldn't look at the faces of the passers by?
This day, like all the rest, the crippled beggar asked for money. This day was different though. This day he was seen. This day he was noticed. I can only imagine what that act alone, this act of acknowledgment must have meant to him. On top of that, I'm sure he was now expecting a charitable gift. Right?!?!
You might know how the story ends, but if not..... Peter and John didn't have any money. True story. They could not give him a charitable gift - so, through the power of the Holy Spirit they healed this crippled beggar. They had no money so his consolation prize was HEALING!!!! He went jumping and leaping.
That might be favorite part. This crippled beggar asked for money..... and God gave him absolute healing. He didn't ask for healing. He didn't ask for the one thing that could have solved all of his other problems. He asked for money.
I think this is more common than we realize - isn't it?
We carry our hurt to the gate of choice and we ask for a job or we ask for restored relationships or a we ask for a prescriptions or we ask that our loved ones be healed. What if we're asking for the wrong thing? What if the blessing God so desperately wants to give us is bigger than a monetary answer for a crippled beggar.
There was one girl, that day at the mall, I didn't extend my greeting to. I regret it deeply now. She was a teenager-ish girl. She was blinking back tears. She was with a mother-ish figure, with a not-so-warm look on her face and a not-so-warm 'pep' in her step. She was blinking back tears.
I looked away. Initially, I thought it was proper to give them their space to wade through the waters they were in. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong. That can't be undone.
That experience has reminded me, however, that every one we come in contact with has a story. Many of those stories remain in the 'behind the scenes footage' and are riddled with hurt and burdens we will never know of. Most people are blinking back tears in some way.
Behind the scenes glimpse: I looked away. I've been blinking back so many tears of my own, for so long now, I was afraid that my greeting to these ladies; ladies blinking back tears, may have led to exposure of my tears blinked back and started a full-on cry-o-rama.
This reality led me to examine the second part of this scripture in Acts. Have I been seeking the wrong answers? Have I been missing the bigger plan?
Some tears are meant to be cried....not dried. God's plan is not always a plan of deliverance, sometimes it is a plan of endurance. He does, in fact, give us more than we can handle so that we are driven to depend on Him more.
As I sit awhile longer, at the gate, begging for a job, begging for community, begging for healed relationships and begging for clarity...... I will take a moment - not to beg, but to look around me. Maybe the answers are already there. Maybe I'll take a break from begging and make time for leaping and jumping.
I am learning....slowly... But learning none the less that .... It is in the leaping and jumping and praising God in ALL circumstances that open the channels of healing and blessing.
If you are blinking back tears of your own, I hope you'll join me. Join me in the leaping and jumping before your answers are revealed; and join me in the crying. If you would like to share your need for prayer with me, I would love to add you to my prayer list. You can email or message me if your tears are private tears.
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