That's what his sign said. His raggedy, card board sign.
I had just exited the highway. I was out of town.
I never carry cash.... I didn't have much change. I knew I would have feed the parking meter when I got to my appointment, but I couldn't help but think how scary it must feel to depend on the generosity of others to eat, to live, to be reunited with your family. I have been through tough times but I have never had ask strangers for spare change to get back to my family.
I reached for whatever spare change was in my console. The light changed. I wasn't ready. The car behind me beeped their horn. Anxiety. I should just go. I waited too long. I missed my opportunity. I'm holding up traffic.
More beeping.
No! Damn it- this guy is getting every last quarter I have. The car behind beeped non-stop.
Window down. Quarters out. He says, with his words and with his whole being, "God bless you."
All I can think is, "Just take the quarters I can't stand the beeping... I'm holding up traffic. Why don't you have something I can just drop these quarters in to."
And then... I think.... you totally missed it. He needed eye contact, any contact, more than he needed those quarters.
I can't help but think of all the times I've asked for "quarters" and really needed something so much more. Sometimes I knew I was doing it, sometimes I didn't.
I also can't help but think of the times I've been asked for proverbial 'quarters' and what was needed wasn't quarters at all. What was needed was... My time. My shoulder. My attention. Hind sight is always 20/20.
I am finding, however, that as I practice this discipline of giving thanks...in all circumstances... and writing this list of thankful things.... my sight, my ability to see the deeper needs, is getting better and better. I still miss it - of that I am sure, but I am missing it less.
The beeping, and distractions, haven't stopped. I hear and see them differently though. When I keep my focus on the helping, on the hope-spreading, on the truth-telling, on the healing.... I am far less worried about holding up traffic and beeping horns.
My 1000 gifts (cont.)
#332 Unexpected safe returns.
#333 Acknowledgment of help needed.
#334 Help available.
#335 Help accepted
