Gifts Counted Part Two

There is something about sharing the list..... accountability..... joy spreading... truth telling.... and of course, pounding the gratitude deeper and deeper in to my own heart and soul.

It always comes back to counting the gifts.   I Thessalonians 5: 12-22 gives so much amazing guidance, but if I am not meditating on these words daily...... I find the slippery slope sooner than most.

I stopped counting on my previous list (here) when the formatting got all screwed up due to my over zealous attempt to add pictures.  Amateur.  I was frustrated.  I figured no one would notice anyway.  Turns out, it isn't about counting and numbering for your benefit - but for mine.  I would count sporadically, but I wasn't overly committed because I wasn't sure how to fix my list.  Silly I know - but isn't that how the spirit of defeat enters?  In silly ways that seem harmless.

I finally decided enough is enough - I will count and no formatting issues are going stop me.  So I will begin a new list; a continued list..... I'll start anew every time formatting frustrates me enough to consider giving up.  In fidelity to mantra of 'don't try to catch up - just jump in right where you are,' there will be about a month's worth of counting missing, but if you're curious - you can check FB and Instagram and Twitter for the hashtag #newjoydare to see the entries I made there.

Gifts Counted Part Two:

1.  Virus free computer.
2.  All stolen money from bank account replaced.
3.  Smoothies with kale and spinach
4.  Many hands make light work.  550 sandwiches made for a funeral of my parents' friend in less than an hour.
5.  Korny Christmas movies while I try to catch up on a million little things on a Saturday.
6.  Stillness to prepare a reception for the advent season.
7.  First exposure to the advent calendar and meaning.  Not joking! LOVE this!  How have I not heard of all this before?

I Dare You!

I have seen such a broad commitment to giving thanks and counting gifts this month!  It's November- and this month that offers a holiday of turkeys (and a long weekend to sleep off the turkey hangover) lends itself well to breeding a community of gift counters.  

I feel a dissonance, actually, to see an act that has become so sacred and so life-giving to me become a 'main-steam' pop culture trend.  I felt extremely guilty for feeling this way- which, of course, didn't stop the way I was feeling at all.... which then led to an open door for complaining and anxiety.... which easily distracted me from my gift counting, which...... 

I wasn't going to reveal this set back, but then I saw a friend articulate, through freshly open wounds, exactly what I was feeling- "So, you're thankful for your family? What does that even mean?"  And I remembered, our stories connect us to each other. 

Everyone is suddenly so grateful for 'everything.'   That sort of turned this act if counting gifts from bold colors if joy to boring shades of gray.  

Okay- stick with me for a minute here: I remember feeling kind of the same way when the Bare Naked Ladies went main stream too. I knew that long gone were the days of experiencing this music that I had come to love, in person, up close, and personal.  Now everyone, (not just me and Julie that literally followed them from Nashville to Memphis one summer), were going to hop on this band wagon and make it so much harder to get the front row spot on this fantastic music adventure. 

Instead if celebrating the success of the band I loved and adored, I questioned the level of loyalty of their 'new' fans.  I would even challenge them on occasion and call them shallow because they didn't jump on in '93 like me. 

I have found that same spirit rising up in me about gift counting.  Instead of celebrating a news feed filled with thankfulness, I'm annoyed by the diluting if this amazing, life-giving perspective.  I'm not proud to admit this, I'm actually embarrassed.

But-  I'll be honest, for the last three weeks, I have let the busy replace the gift-counting. So, it's no coincidence that judgement and complaining and anxiety have set up camp in my heart and head lately.  

I promised myself if I was going to do this 'blog thing' I was going be real. Not only offer the beauty, but the brutal too.  So there you have it.  

I refuse to rest here though. Want to move forward with me? Are you struggling to find a heart of giving thanks for all things and at all time? It's okay.  Don't try to undo what's been done or not done.  Just jump in right here. I dare you! 

Here is my #newjoydare challenge for any of my friends that are struggling to find their true spirit of gratitude:  today- not one complaint- not in your mouth, not in your heart. When a complaint creeps in, replace it by hammering gratitude deep in your soul.  I know of three lives lost this week already- so if nothing else, give thanks for breath and life.  Hammer in that gratitude by writing it down. Number your gifts. I dare you!

You don't have to do it publicly.  In fact, I would encourage you to keep it to yourself if you're desperately seeking the joy that comes from giving thanks.  I did not share my gifts publicly until the joy was so abundant I couldn't keep it to myself.  

My joy faded to 50 shades of judgement and speculation when I lost sight of my own journey and my own story and my own commitment to counting gifts.  If you lost sight of counting, you're not alone.  We have fallen down together. 

 I'm getting back up today.  Are you with me? 

If you haven't lost sight of your gift counting, I applaud you!  My inadequacy wants to be mad at you and find something ugly to say about you- but I promise I won't. I will look to you for inspiration instead.  I will connect my broken parts to your parts of gratitude and let you help pick me up from my pit.  

Today, I'm praying for a friend that lost her baby, for my parents that lost a friend and for all of us that knew Telene Quinn.  It's hard to find the gifts at times like this. I will start by giving thanks for waking up with air in my lungs. 

And for coffee; always coffee.  

Okay- wake up and be awesome today friends! I dare you!