I have said a million times recently...."I dream of a community where we are able to share our stories.....our true stories.....our brutal stories...... our beautiful stories...... and those stories will connect us to each other in compassion and encouragement."
I have shared a glimpse of my story. Here, in this blog, in this secret, safe place that conceals my teary eyes, my messy house, my messy brain, and my overly- insecure- inner- voice...... here, I have shared just a portion of my story. Even here, it has become increasingly harder lately.
As I try to understand why I have abandoned this cathartic process of revealing my 'behind the scenes footage,' I consider the stories of others. I have been deeply moved by the stories of so many. Stories of finding light in darkness, praying in the face of tragedy, receiving miracles of healing after gruesome accidents, and an immigrant turned missionary after starting life as the child of an alcoholic father.
It didn't take me long to realize that my reluctance to publish any additional glimpses in to my story was a result of how insignificant my story seems in the shadow of other people's amazing stories.
It is in that space of comparison that I am reminded; our stories aren't intended to be measured and compared. Our stories are intended to connect us to each other. Our stories are intended to offer encouragement. Our stories are intended to offer hope.
I am not called to the write the story that resembles stories written before me. I am not called to tell a story that is not my own.
I am called to write the story that is my truth. I'm called to tell a story of amazing grace and amazing love and how this amazing grace-love combo changed the fabric of my very being. A story of a girl clinging to the truth of who she is and whose she is; even when others say she's not. A story of a girl finding joy so deep that her circumstances can not uproot it. A story of girl that continues to make mistakes and continues to be a slow learner. A story of a girl that just wants to join the movement of the truth-telling and hope-spreading.
I had barely decided to start sharing in this safe place place again when I was asked to share my story in person, in public. I said yes. Twice. Prayers would be appreciated :)
