I'm a Blogger

Well....sort of.... why is it so hard for me to say I'm a blogger with a straight face? To claim that title?  It isn't even a very attractive title right?  I'm a blogger?

Truth is.....I have written far more blogs than I have actually published.  There is always something....... something that stops me from clicking the 'publish' button after I have poured my story in to my blog account.

It sounds like this in my head as I consider clicking 'publish' : "Seriously- nobody cares about your witty insight on that story....actually it's really only witty and insightful to you....every one else is going to think you're a nut case......"  That's a mild day.  What is that?

It seems a common thread for several people I love lately.  Maybe not the confession of unpublished blogs....but the denial of pieces that are beautiful, talented, amazing and authentic to them.  It has really got me thinking...............

I am so quick to publicize my flaws...... my road rage moments...... my lack of kindness ...... my failed Pinterest projects.......  I am not quick, however, to claim my special gifts, my talents.  The parts of me that make me.....well....the me I aim to be.

I would rather display all of my faults and failures in Times Square, on my terms, than acknowledge my gifts....my strengths....my talents.  For most of my life, this negative publicity campaigned translated into some sense of protection in my brain.  I tried to protect myself from the nay-sayers.  I tried to protect myself from the bullies.  I tried to protect myself from stone-throwers.

Well......

I am retiring personal-protection-duty immediately.  I'm tired.  This negative publicity campaign has worn me out.  And....it's not working.  There will always be haters I think.  It is a reflection of the state of sin in this world.

But here's the thing...... God has been waiting for me to retire that post since before I even created it.  He has been waiting for me to bring my weakness to Him so that in return I can receive His grace..... His peace..... His favor........HIS protection.

I know that God has made me in His image.  I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  More than that, I know that I have gifts and talents that could only be from God himself.  There I said it.  I'm gifted.  I'm talented.  I'm working toward the divine purpose God has appointed for me!!

Take that to Time Square......as soon I can find that silly 'publish' button :)

If God is for me, who can be against me?  Romans 8:31